A nice mv I found!

Well it's FT Island's Raining...came to know them through the drama "you're beautiful"...



Enjoy ya!

2010...well not that bad for me after all~

Much things happened during the end of 2009 and starting of 2010...I can say, they happened for a good cause and I feel that all these bad events changed my life for the better. I've found a clique that feels comfortable and happy to be with...I've found the drive in me to do things better...I've found the reason to change myself...I've found the courage to take a step forward...woo~ I smell the wonderful days ahead, lol.

Feels so much better for the past few days, I know why I am so emo already. I force myself too hard on changing, hahahas. Ever since I go a little easy on myself I found the happy me again. BUT I am still going change myself, but in a gradual manner. (Just like making an injection, we can't press the plunger too hard right, you will burst your veins or scream in pain...lol)

No more sleeping in class! Yes, I am paying full attention in class...I somehow found the way to keep myself 100% working state during lecturers. It's just so miracle...partially I think impact of sitting at the front makes what the lecturer say more clearer. (*thinking of the days I sitting in the front row in NTU and dozing off right in the face of the lecturer, a little guilty thought~haha*)

Ahhh...and I have found a wonderful product by LOREAL recent...the "Studio line: DirtyClean texturising clay"! Dunno why it is named this way...it's not dirty when I see the colour of the clay *shrugs* It makes you hair feel soft while keeping it styled or well texturized, and it's not sticky AND it's easy to wash off!!! Hahaha, better than my gatsby clay...wash 2~3 times still feels so hard...argh! (*it feels cold when you touch the clay with your fingers...weird but who cares! XD)


















P.S. Hey Kailin, thanks for the wonderful little gift you've got me...like it a lot! And so coincident that I actually was planning to buy a earphone recently and tada! Hahaha!















*quite worried for a friend, hope she will be fine soon...=/*


~Gabriel

Stop that!

I've already been feeling so down and yet my Dad seems to be adding more problems to me! What the problem with my mum, she did nothing wrong. It “YOU” who is imagining thing, no one hates you...no one is unhappy with you! And if you think I did not know anything, I shall tell you I heard everything when I am pretending asleep. Every shit you say...every trash action you act, I respect you as my Dad and please be a man and stop making my mum troubled. I have kept quiet cause I don't want to make a mess out of the shit you've caused.

Life is already so shitty, and yet more are coming. I will get better at my 30's, I guess that's just pure bullshit...I guess I'll just have to learn how to control my emotion, even if I can't get this mess clear up...at least I could have prevent it from getting bigger. Seriously...I hate this...but what can I do..I'll see when time comes...

~Gabriel

Can anyone tell me why?~

Recently a strange phenomenon occur within me...Everyday in the morning when I am prepared to go school I feel so confident and full of drive, but once school ends...I feel as though I have fall deep into a hole of sadness, feeling extremely emo. It was so depressing...I dunno why. I can't even answer for my weird change of mood. It just keeps going the same from every morning to evening to night. Especially at night, emo to the maximum. Painfully emo, extremely sad...it's feels terrible but I can't find a reason for feeling that way...

I am puzzled~ real puzzled...















~ Gabriel

1:19AM...Thinking about past and present~

The past...

The child that is finding his smile~

It's was said that over protected child will never be able to survive in the reality...so it was true, the child will never be able to understand what he really wants in life and by the time he knows this world...He was hurt...and it wasn't easy to get back to his innocent smile. One fine day, he smiled...thought his heart was still in tear. Cause he understanding happiness is not about having everything beautiful for himself, but is making the world around him beautiful. He told himself: "I will hide behind my mask and show the world his warmest smile". when everyone smile happily..he will see a wonderful world and there is always a reason to be happy.


The present...

The child that learns~

He is am not someone to be descided by fate nor being judged by others, he will descide who he is and what he will become. He hates himself for being blind all these while...for not seeing all the support and hopes give by people around him...his parents...his pal...his friends. The harder one fall, the better one learn...From now on, he sets off to find what he really need within him...only than he will not feel empty again and finish the journey without regrets

~Gabriel












If "Angel" ever starts to love the "Devil"..."Devil" may starts to love the world~ World Peace! ^o^v

Feels like "reborn"!

Issue 1:
The vow didn't comes true~

Issue 2:
I guess I am a free thinker now~

Issue 3:
My interest, behavior and preferences seems a little different from the past (unknowingly, maybe I tried too hard to change myself and cause these other aspect to be affected as well)~

Issue 4:
Sry pal, will not dare to do such stupid thing again~

Issue 5:
Sometimes I feel that in my world there is only me...and myself (trying not to get moody, being with myself for 30 yrs already...makes no difference)

Issue 6:
2010 will really be a year which my luck turns better? I dunno...who knows anyway~

Issue 7:
Still feels very bothered...and bothered...and....

Gabriel (a poor creature on earth)

Done

Just made the vow…if tomorrow (Sunday, 3 Jan 2010) I am still bogging~ I should be a free thinker by than…well if not, I would be in some beautiful paradise…released of all troubles in human world.

I am not crazy…I am just …well~ nvm…haha


Gabriel

A decision to unveil…

I seems to lacks nothing physically, but I have lost everything deep within. Be it faith, hopes, beliefs…etc. I may not be the most pitiful person in the world, it’s just that I am really tired…tired of this world. So I might be the best person to unveil this curiosity doubt of mine. I am not negative, and honestly I am not in a despair condition while deciding on doing this. =)

Why I lived:

1. cause if I don’t, I will sin by causing my parents to be sad
2. cause I was given the responsibility of taking care of someone who brought me into this world
3. life was given to me and it’s a sin to destroy this gift
4. attempting unnatural death is a sinful thought

It have comes to a point where I feel that I shall have a try on something meaningful, regardless of the outcome.

Years ago, I’ve made a vow…whether it really happens or not~ I have no regrets.

And now…I shall know if the vow really exists~

I shall use make another exchange…this time with everything I have received as the gift of god~ I just sees that if the outcome is positive, it would be beneficial to others and if the outcome is negative I would have lost nothing…

We shall see…

Gabriel ~