I would've be the most foolish man if I had let you walk pass me... My life would be so incomplete without you beside me... Our days together have not only bring me happiness but also memories that are so sweet... My feelings for you do not need much words to describe ...for I shall shower you with every bit of love I have for you on the journey down the future
Re-learn this world when I am around going throught it for 30 years? Yes indeed. So much for my naive thinking all these years that the world is spinning like a cute little merry-go-round riding on a pony and holding a candy on my hand. That could just be a little dream for a small kid...way too perfect.
So what's is the reality of where I am standing right now? It's not about whether we can adapt changes, but rather is can we take the pain of changes. A friend once told me, nothing is permenant. I agreed to that, everything!...including human...can change in a fortnight. When your trust can be totally wreck, it's painful arn't it? 3 years! I took 3 full years to wake up from my naiveness and start to think...kinda long for me, but at least I've understand. Maybe I am blessed in some way in the past that makes me mentally weak all along...which contributes to all those pains I've got now? well maybe...
Lots of crazyness that happened, to me or to others...have really made me feel a little uneasy of this world. Was it the world itself degraded itself or was it intented to be made this way? It just too absure to me.
I guess I am just not to used to some cruel reality...learning to live with it, and trying my best to cling on the hope that the world can be pure and wonderful someday! Removed all sins from human natural! And everyone live for the sake of bring happiness to others! ~dreaming? oh I guess so...lol (...and dun misunderstand, I am not holy in any way!)
What Gabriel need (wishlist for God to see):
"True friends" + "A lovely wife" + "A wonderful family"
Yeah, it’s freaking good…shoke. All those aches and pains, it just thrills me day by day awaiting my pretty babes (muscle) arrival. Woo~ I just can’t help feeling excitied! Hahahaha~ I love pure strength! Come’ on I need more!
My dream body shape and my idol Crown J~ such perfection of the gift by god!
Bottling up our real feeling feelings towards fact doesn’t make us a better person. Being transparent in the eyes of others doesn’t make us feel good. To expect others to be sensitive we have to be sensitive in the first place. Trying to act as the world is all fine when we are on the verge of breaking down makes our heart shattered. Lastly distancing is not a good solution but it just hurt endlessly and causing more hate to the cause…
Finally 想通了! Life is Party BABY! There’s always party going on…and it doesn’t matter it’s fun or not…just join in and enjoy! No one may remember us after it ended, but everyone have fun isn’t it. Make smiles, that’s what life is meant for!
So…let me introduce myself once again:
I am Gabriel… I am 30 years old…cool right? =) I love RnB and Hip Hop and specifically Rap music… I love to talk nonsense when I am hype… I love silence when I am tired… I hate books, Yeah BOOKS!... I love ghostly story and science friction movies… I am blur, so what! Hhahaha, that’s me *I love myself*… I hate it when ppl quarrels, even if it dun involves me..just like peace… I am bad in words, but well I am one harmless beings dude… I am vain, even thought I am not good looking…. I always hope to be taller and having a smoother complex… I hate vegetables and fish… I love basketball and gym and I love simple gaming… I hate alcohol and I seemed to be allergic to it anyways… I never despise ppl but I despise those who did… I dun like to flare up, even if I do no one will sees it… I dun smoke cause I dun really like to put poison into my lung!... I hate jogging and running, seriously!... I scare most, not death but being fat~ahahah… I might be sensitive like a girl sometimes, cause I have higher female hormo *NOTE: I am not a gay nor ah gua!*…just some hormo ok! =/ I have a kinda low blood pressure, maybe that’s y I dun flare up often… I am shy sometimes but I can get real wild later! XD…
Alright, that’s so much for the fresh start. It’s how we face life that makes us happy. I always hope for a hand when I am down with tonnes of troubles but it’s kinda hard to find one sometimes (*I truely wanna give a big THANKS to those who had gave me a pat to move ahead thought =D*). Ok so the solution is “put down everything and give ya butt a pat! Tell myself “go on, life is more than what you’ve been through…a lot more are worth to explore ahead than sitting here crying over thing”.
The magic word when things makes you sad: “I dun care” *splendid* Hahahaha!
…the me that is crazy …..the me that is crappy ……the me that smiles always …….the me that sprout my truest thoughts ………the me that say the lame but sincere joke
and be accepted as me…I do wish…
~ Sadness, depression, uncontrollable breakdown are just coming so often…pre-symptom of “self disorder”? Yeah…just gotta hang on as far as I can…
Gabriel? Eric? Robert? Glen? …I dunno, non of these names sound familiar to me anyway,,,
Nothing is gonna change even when I am sad… Nothing is gonna change even if I try hard… The only thing I can do is to accept it… The only one I could rely on is Gab… Being kind will only hurt myself… Being selfish will only hurt others… I shall stay clam and see what’s the worst that will come on me
…and walk through it with my cold and frozen heart …
Always felt that being alone is the most peaceful moment in this world, but it turns out to be the saddest thing. Always felt that being quiet is the safest bet sometimes, but it just gives the most terrible feeling. It just like walking nearer and nearer to the journey of loneliness…maybe I had did some terrible sins in my past life that leads me to such judgment now. Quite cold about life now, nothing much to hoped for in fact…it seems that I’ve lost everything which once brought so much laughter to me…things have changed, and changed my life drastically. I will be forced to accept my fate as I dun see any solution here~ I tried to smile but it just a little tough for me right now…
kimi ga “sayonara” mo tsuge zuni dete itta ano hi kara kono machi no keshiki ya nioi ga kawatta ki ga suru yo kimi no subete ni naritakute kawashita yakusoku mo hatasarenai mama omoide ni kawatte shimau
hitori kiri de kimi ga naita ano toki sugu ni tonde ikeba ima mo mada kimi wa boku no yoko ni ite kureta? dekiru naraba mou ichido iitakatta "daisuki" tte... kimi he no omoi mo afure dashita kotoba mo ima wa todokanai
kimi wa doko ni ite dare to doko ni ite donna fuku wo kite nani shite waratterun darou? boku wa koko ni ite ima mo koko ni ite kimi to futari de mata aeru to shinjite iru yo
Oh... kawarazu omotte iru yo Oh... kimi dake...omotte iru yo
musun da kami no ushiro sugata ni kimi wo kasanete furikaeru mishiranu dare ka ni nando mo gakkari shita chakushin ga aru tabi kimi no namae kitai shitari kakko warui mainichi bakari sugite iku yo
"wasurerarenai" no ga uso de hontou wa "wasuretakunai" dake “tsuyogari” ga boku-rashisa naraba mou iranai kimi ga inakya mou nido to kanjinai "shiawase" tte... dou ganbatte mitemo kobore ochita namida wa sugu ni tomaranai
kimi wa doko ni ite dare to doko ni ite donna fuku wo kite nani shite waratterun darou? boku wa koko ni ite ima mo koko ni ite kimi to futari de mata aeru to shinjite iru yo
dakara ima koushite boku wa mata hitori kimi no namae yonderu… kore ijou setsuna sa wo dakishimete ikeru wakenadonai yo demo sore shikanai n dayo
kimi ga iru dake de kagayaite mieta ano goro wa nido to modotte wa konai kedo nani ga okotte mo nani wo ushinatte mo kimi wo aishita koto kesshite wasuretakunai
kimi ga doko ni ite dare to doko ni ite donna yume wo mite nani shite waratte ite mo zutto koko ni ite ima mo koko ni ite kimi to itsu no hi ni ka aeru to shinjite iru yo
Oh... kawarazu omotte iru yo Oh... kimi dake...omotte iru yo
Oh... kawarazu omotte iru yo Oh... kimi dake...omotte iru yo
English Translation
Since the day you left without saying "goodbye" I felt that the scenery and scent of this town has changed My promise of wanting to change to become your everything Has completely changed into a memory without being fulfilled
Those times when you were crying by yourself, if I had flown straight to you Would you still be by my side now? If I were able to, I'd tell you again that "I love you" But my overflowing feelings for you, and my words, cannot reach you now
Wherever you are, whoever you’re with wherever you are, Whatever you're wearing, whatever you're doing, you'll be laughing, right? I'm here. Even now, I'm right here Believing that the two of us will meet again.
Oh... These feelings won't change. Oh... You're the only one...I'm thinking of.
Your back appearance, with your hair tied up, I'd repeatedly mistaken someone else for you until they turned around; I was disappointed many times Whenever there’s mail, I expect to see your name I feel stupid(1) everyday that goes past
“I can’t forget" is a lie; in reality it's only "I don't want to forget" If "pretending(2)" is a quality of mine, I no longer need to do it If you aren't here, I won't be able to feel "happy" again No matter how hard I try, my tears continue to fall, they just won't stop
Wherever you are, whoever you’re with wherever you are, Whatever you're wearing, whatever you're doing, you'll be laughing, right? I'm here. Even now, I'm right here Believing that the two of us will meet again.
So now I'm still alone like this, calling your name… I don't have a reason to embrace this pain anymore But I can't help doing it
Only you, just by being there, could make me shine But those times will never return again No matter what happens, no matter what I’ve lost I never want to forget that I've loved you
Wherever you are, whoever you’re with wherever you are, Whatever you're dreaming of, whatever you're doing, please be laughing I will always been here; even now, I'm right here Believing that one day we will meet again.
Oh... These feelings won't change. Oh... You're the only one...I'm thinking of.
Oh... These feelings won't change. Oh... You're the only one...I'm thinking of.
A new mv by Untouchable featuring Narsha from Brown Eye Girl! The girl in the mv is not Narsha but "Na Hye Mi"! she is indeed pretty in the mv...hahaha. A little mature + gentle + a beautiful voice...=)
Printer Printer Printer! Days without printer are so troublesome! Have to wake up earlier to school to print stuff and when I need to print out reference I cannot do so. Luckily IT Show is finally coming, woo~ hope I can get some budget printer to “tarhan” for my remaining semester. Lol!
Guess I’ve got a little adapted to the performance stage, it’s better to polish up our skills before we face the real challenge in life. A career that everyone is assigned since the first day. Haha, these days most of the time is just “me” and Gabriel. Hope we can work together fine from now on. Oh Alright, maybe a little help from god as well. What is the most tiring thing in life? For me I would say…explanations, something that is so ma fan. =/
Gabriel’s way of life: It’s about [ask or trust]: “ask when you don’t trust” or “If you trust don’t ask”…no point leaving others guessing when happened for something they don't know. That is how misunderstanding starts.
…when we have to take a breath after a long journey, I have a dream, which is to reach the ending point. Just a little tired…shall be on my way after a little rest…
Know what! It’s Fri!...shoke shoke shoke, end of the tiring week and time for a little recharge! Just wanna sing “I dun care eh eh eh eh eh~” hahah, troubles are nothing when we dun bothers, so sch aside for now…homework on table for now…and weekend is coming as well. Humm…can’t wait for gyming later, I am gonna chiong ahhhh.
-_- omg why the workers doing the upgrading outside my house so noisy?!?! Gonna faints with their non stop conversation. But something to note, well done on the laying of concrete on the floor, it so freaking smooth and perfect! That’s what I call workmanship.
1. When others start smiling you smile… 2. After you smile things start to appear beautiful… 3. Soon you will see the bright side of the worst things… 4. Even if things remain bad just keep trying and enjoy your every tries...
Well it do makes me happy…so can you~ hahah~ manz life is wonderful and I really enjoy it now~lol
~Failure is no big deal…when I follows my heart in whatever I do~
and lastly...Look below!
Looks doesn’t matter when you are bringing happiness around…end of the day you loves the horse don’t ya? :D
Dear Gabriel Tang, below are your Personality Tests result:
Who is your true self: You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues.
Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve. ...I know...but it's isn't as easy as things is...:)
Your view on yourself:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Other people find you very interesting Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :But you are really hiding your true self Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Your friends love you because you are a good listener Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You like serious Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Smart Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Determined people Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You don't judge a book by its cover Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :So good-looking people aren't necessarily your style Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether y
The seriousness of your love:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You are very serious about relationships Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :If you meet the right person Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You will fall deeply Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Beautifully in love
Your views on education:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Education is less important than the real world out there Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Away from the classroom Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Deep inside you want to start working Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Earning money Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Living on your own
The right job for you:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You're a practical person Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Will choose a secure job with a steady income Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Knowing what you like to do is important Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Find a regular job doing just that Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You'll be set for life
How do you view success:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You are afraid of failure Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you d Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous
What are you most afraid of:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Independence is important to you
Recently I seem to have a liking for crosses in terms of accessories. And tonight 11 February 2010, I have no idea how I have came to this video “How Great is our God by Chris Tomlin” on Youtube and at the same time I am actually smiling when I have unknowingly let him into heart. I can actually feel the strength to carry on for a better tomorrow. I was touched and tear rolls when I suddenly understand he had never forsaken me all these while when I first believed in him. I believed in “Him” even thought I am not gonna be a Christian, cause I knew the love he had for everyone is equal regardless of whether one is a follower of Christian or not. I thank him for being my pillar and for all the love and hope that was given to me, thank you…
How Great is our God by Chris Tomlin
The splendor of a King Clothed in majesty Let all the earth rejoice All the earth rejoice
He wraps Himself in light And darkness tries to hide And trembles at His voice Trembles at His voice
How great is our God, sing with me How great is our God, and all will see How great, how great is our God
Age to age He stands And time is in His hands Beginning and the end Beginning and the end
The Godhead Three in One Father Spirit and Son The Lion and the Lamb The Lion and the Lamb
How great is our God, sing with me How great is our God, and all will see How great, how great is our God
Name above all names Worthy of all praise My heart will sing How great is our God
How great is our God, sing with me How great is our God, and all will see How great, how great is our God
When I feel that I was alone when I need help most..."He" was there, for this I shall thank him by living to my fullest till the days my gift of life ends... ~ Gabriel
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Just read this from U Magzine...
处女座的人在30岁以前大概不怎么出色，给人很普通的感觉，30岁之后，太阳处女和上升处女的人就会散发出光芒。大家会渐渐发现它才是真材实料的人，也许处女座在一开始并不受大家的热烈欢迎，但时间一长，处女座的人就会开始展现实力，显现内在的才华，老来发的潜力颇高! (Source: From U Magzine NO.217 01 Feb'10 wei wei an letter box)
True or not I dunno, BUT I can say my life is down to the bottom till now...feel shitty but what can I do...wait for the better (will it ever come?). I dunno, it's it is true the best...I just have to see...
Eyelid twitch means 左眼跳財，右眼跳災! Which means left brings fortune and right brings disaster.
But from scientific point of view:
Eyelid twitch emerge from the fact that one is fatigue or stress. And worst, it could cause permanent eye injury from unrecognized cornea injury...though rare.
But for me...it's would be more to the Chinese point of view, it accurate most of the time. So I say I am not going with the scientific for this once...it's not a problem to disagree with science sometimes. At least it answer most of the uncertainties in life without fail. A gift to me maybe...gonna love this gift. =]
Questions: Is/are there any material/s that can cause Force of A = Force of B when subjected to an impact and Force of B > Force of A when not having any contact in between? If there is, that person might become a billionaire in a fortnight...haha!
~by nameless (I dun need a name, just know who I am is sufficient...=])
Much things happened during the end of 2009 and starting of 2010...I can say, they happened for a good cause and I feel that all these bad events changed my life for the better. I've found a clique that feels comfortable and happy to be with...I've found the drive in me to do things better...I've found the reason to change myself...I've found the courage to take a step forward...woo~ I smell the wonderful days ahead, lol.
Feels so much better for the past few days, I know why I am so emo already. I force myself too hard on changing, hahahas. Ever since I go a little easy on myself I found the happy me again. BUT I am still going change myself, but in a gradual manner. (Just like making an injection, we can't press the plunger too hard right, you will burst your veins or scream in pain...lol)
No more sleeping in class! Yes, I am paying full attention in class...I somehow found the way to keep myself 100% working state during lecturers. It's just so miracle...partially I think impact of sitting at the front makes what the lecturer say more clearer. (*thinking of the days I sitting in the front row in NTU and dozing off right in the face of the lecturer, a little guilty thought~haha*)
Ahhh...and I have found a wonderful product by LOREAL recent...the "Studio line: DirtyClean texturising clay"! Dunno why it is named this way...it's not dirty when I see the colour of the clay *shrugs* It makes you hair feel soft while keeping it styled or well texturized, and it's not sticky AND it's easy to wash off!!! Hahaha, better than my gatsby clay...wash 2~3 times still feels so hard...argh! (*it feels cold when you touch the clay with your fingers...weird but who cares! XD)
P.S. Hey Kailin, thanks for the wonderful little gift you've got me...like it a lot! And so coincident that I actually was planning to buy a earphone recently and tada! Hahaha!
*quite worried for a friend, hope she will be fine soon...=/*
I've already been feeling so down and yet my Dad seems to be adding more problems to me! What the problem with my mum, she did nothing wrong. It “YOU” who is imagining thing, no one hates you...no one is unhappy with you! And if you think I did not know anything, I shall tell you I heard everything when I am pretending asleep. Every shit you say...every trash action you act, I respect you as my Dad and please be a man and stop making my mum troubled. I have kept quiet cause I don't want to make a mess out of the shit you've caused.
Life is already so shitty, and yet more are coming. I will get better at my 30's, I guess that's just pure bullshit...I guess I'll just have to learn how to control my emotion, even if I can't get this mess clear up...at least I could have prevent it from getting bigger. Seriously...I hate this...but what can I do..I'll see when time comes...
Recently a strange phenomenon occur within me...Everyday in the morning when I am prepared to go school I feel so confident and full of drive, but once school ends...I feel as though I have fall deep into a hole of sadness, feeling extremely emo. It was so depressing...I dunno why. I can't even answer for my weird change of mood. It just keeps going the same from every morning to evening to night. Especially at night, emo to the maximum. Painfully emo, extremely sad...it's feels terrible but I can't find a reason for feeling that way...
It's was said that over protected child will never be able to survive in the reality...so it was true, the child will never be able to understand what he really wants in life and by the time he knows this world...He was hurt...and it wasn't easy to get back to his innocent smile. One fine day, he smiled...thought his heart was still in tear. Cause he understanding happiness is not about having everything beautiful for himself, but is making the world around him beautiful. He told himself: "I will hide behind my mask and show the world his warmest smile". when everyone smile happily..he will see a wonderful world and there is always a reason to be happy.
The present...
The child that learns~
He is am not someone to be descided by fate nor being judged by others, he will descide who he is and what he will become. He hates himself for being blind all these while...for not seeing all the support and hopes give by people around him...his parents...his pal...his friends. The harder one fall, the better one learn...From now on, he sets off to find what he really need within him...only than he will not feel empty again and finish the journey without regrets
~Gabriel
If "Angel" ever starts to love the "Devil"..."Devil" may starts to love the world~ World Peace! ^o^v
Issue 3: My interest, behavior and preferences seems a little different from the past (unknowingly, maybe I tried too hard to change myself and cause these other aspect to be affected as well)~
Issue 4: Sry pal, will not dare to do such stupid thing again~
Issue 5: Sometimes I feel that in my world there is only me...and myself (trying not to get moody, being with myself for 30 yrs already...makes no difference)
Issue 6: 2010 will really be a year which my luck turns better? I dunno...who knows anyway~
Issue 7: Still feels very bothered...and bothered...and....
Just made the vow…if tomorrow (Sunday, 3 Jan 2010) I am still bogging~ I should be a free thinker by than…well if not, I would be in some beautiful paradise…released of all troubles in human world.
I seems to lacks nothing physically, but I have lost everything deep within. Be it faith, hopes, beliefs…etc. I may not be the most pitiful person in the world, it’s just that I am really tired…tired of this world. So I might be the best person to unveil this curiosity doubt of mine. I am not negative, and honestly I am not in a despair condition while deciding on doing this. =)
Why I lived:
cause if I don’t, I will sin by causing my parents to be sad
cause I was given the responsibility of taking care of someone who brought me into this world
life was given to me and it’s a sin to destroy this gift
attempting unnatural death is a sinful thought
It have comes to a point where I feel that I shall have a try on something meaningful, regardless of the outcome.
Years ago, I’ve made a vow…whether it really happens or not~ I have no regrets.
And now…I shall know if the vow really exists~
I shall use make another exchange…this time with everything I have received as the gift of god~ I just sees that if the outcome is positive, it would be beneficial to others and if the outcome is negative I would have lost nothing…
